How Misha tells a story!

This is how Misha tells a story. Just substitute "ootock" (Like this) and "backman" for batman, and replace the word mugger with "bobka yoshka" (villian)

Was He Real?

On Tuesday, Max, Misha and I attended the funeral of a 24 year old local soldier killed in combat in Afghanistan. Before we left I was talking with our children about this man and how he had died. This led to many different questions but the one that hit me hardest was this one; "Was he real?" This is a question I got from Annette, our 6-year old daughter.

It was with this question that I realized that in many ways the thousands of soldiers who preceded Corporal Hovater in death were in many ways "not real." They were simply headlines in the newspaper or a story on TV to me.

If you have never experienced the significance of a full honors military funeral please take the time to go.

The 22-year old widow sitting alone. The grieving mother. The snap of the guns in the 21-gun salute. The playing of taps. The presentation of the purple heart. The carefulness and respect of every movement by the honor guard. The shielding of the family by the Patriot Riders. The WWII, Korean, and Vietnam vets standing in solidarity. The precise folding of the flag. The finality of a "real" person who truly gave the last full measure of his devotion.

My boys asked so many questions and so many "whys." I wish I could have known Corporal Hovater in life but in death he taught both me and my sons incredible lessons on freedom, costs, and devotion. RIP in the arms of God!

Peace,

Steve

Surgery Update

(edited to include pictures)

Max, Misha, and Vitali all went into Children's West on Thursday for surgery:

We had been quite concerned because there is a two phase recovery process that is used. With the boys we just did not feel this was the most therapeutic method for them emotionally. The mind of a hurt child processes things differently. Even though they probably wouldn't remember much from phase 1 we asked that we be brought in because these boys already have enough things they won't remember that will haunt them for a very long time.

We are blessed to have Melissa's parents nearby so the girls stayed there Wednesday before surgery and Thursday after surgery. Coordinating two surgeons, five procedures, and three boys is a tough task but this was done smoothly by the staff. The boys were scheduled as the last patients of the day and we were able to be with them until they were wheeled into surgery and with them when they came out. With us having three groggy boys coming out of surgery we had Melissa's parents helping. The girls stayed with our friends Kathy Melquist and Heather McElhaney who were visiting from New York.

All went smoothly. Max had a horrific experience with dental work in Ukraine and we were very concerned about this. He ended up needing all eight childhood mollers pulled. He has parlayed that into 8 consecutive nightly visits by the tooth fairy. Misha, our little sensory guy, did quite well. Misha loves to sing, has great rhythm, can dance and now has a great set of grilles after ending up with 5 crowns. Vitali had to have a recurring issue dealt with and he has been suffering the most. In recovery he peed on me and then threw up on both of us.
(Click on the picture at right to see a "before" of Max's worst tooth. Warning: If you are especially sensitive, you won't want to look)


The boys are all doing quite well now. We have been so blessed and continue to be blessed. When we decided to start this journey we were not sure "how" we could do it. The amount of money we have spent this last year has been staggering and we have done it without going into a dime of debt. I continue to be amazed by the generosity of so many people. I had two people approach me recently and gave unsolicited generous gifts and then Friday of last week after I had sent a $2,800 check for the dental portion and was ready to spend another $2,000 on Thursday to cover our deductible. A third person through some incredible circumstances told us she was sending a very large check that was just enough to cover both of these expenses. We did not share this need with any of these people much less the amount.

Every time I begin to question or become concerned about something like this I am blown away. We have been home now six months. The last almost two years have been an incredible trip. If I was writing a script I couldn't have created the scenario that has unfolded. I feel like Isaiah when he said:

"In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the LORD sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple. Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly. And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory. And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke. Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."

I have always said this adoption was not about us and I can truly say it wasn't. That being said I have received so much from this journey. I understand life in a totally different light. I have seen the best and unfortunately the worst of humanity. I have learned to be much more empathetic.

Last week I got to experience another incredible thing. Little Vitali has a dimple. This might seem like nothing much but when we came home he was a scrawny and angry rage filled child. The last six months has been tough. Not as tough as we thought it might be but tough indeed. In reality that dimple was always there but it was hidden under the rage and malnourished body of our little boy. For me that little dimple is priceless!( If you look closely, you can see Vitali's barely-there
little dimple that is just newly appearing!)

Steve

That's an idea...

Steve told Max he'd give him some juice but first Max should
dump out the water left in his glass.

In all seriousness Max replied,
"Where? On Misha?"

Ivy wanted me to fall!

Not taking ownership when things happen seems to be a common theme for Vitali and Misha but this latest one was a classic.

Vitali had been standing on the recliner in our living room when he fell with a loud thud. Ivy rushed right over to help the wailing Vitali and was comforting him. When we asked Vitali what happened and how he fell, Vitali said "I was on that, and Ivy wanted me to fall, and I fell."

Funny thing is, when I want Vitali to behave, he doesn't.

Steve

A day at the Little River

...That's it's name. I just call it, "The Creek".

On Saturday we all hopped into the car and headed for The Creek. Everyone had a good time.


We found crayfish, caught some minnows, and the kids all had a blast riding down a channel someone had built of stones so that the water flowed through it a little deeper and quite fast. It looked fun and I wished it were deep enough for grown-ups!

Vitali and myself sat on the warm stones for a while so he cold warm up. He is so scrawny that he gets cold pretty quickly. (on a side note: we weighed him the other day and found that he has increased from 29 lbs when he first got here to 36 pounds. He's still really skinny so that should tell you something!)

Isn't he a little darling? I love this little guy!

You may remember Misha and his troubles with sensory issues. Those two words flow off my tongue so easily now that we have studied and worked hard to handle the strange behaviors and reactions that occur when you don't prcess sensory information in a healthy manner.

As I expected, Misha was worried about the creek. The bottom is covered with stones, the water is moving and chilly, there are visible fishlings swimming in it and water skaters zipping across its surface. Now, for those of you who don't know about this kind of thing, this next part may not sound very motherly to you.

Misha was worried but was tiptoeing along holding my hand. After a while I asked him what he was afraid of. "Slipping and falling into the water." he said. Not missing a beat I let go of his hand and gave him a gentle shove which sent his little life-jacket clad self into the two foot deep water. He popped right up and I smiled at him. "See?" I said. "It's ok to fall in! The water is fun!" He gave me a surprised look, smiled, let go and was off for a fantastic time. I never thought it would be so easy. He has improved so much!!

Here he is crawling into the channel to sail himself downstream for the hundredth time!
And here comes Max for another round. That's Steve behind him cooling his head. He was helping the little ones stop at the end of the channel so we didn't lose anyone further downstream!

The lovely Annette liked looking for crayfish. She never caught any, though. You kind of have to touch them for that. Unless you have a plastic cup, which we didn't. Look closely and you'll see she just lost one of her top teeth the day before !Ivy is our little dolly.

And here are all six, sitting a a fallen tree. Vitali was very nervous about the tree at first but then he realized he could handle it and decided he was pretty awesome to be sitting up so "high"!

Left to right are: Annette (6), Hannah (8), Vitali (4), Ivy (3), Misha (6), and Max (8).

Time to go!

Now, that was fun!

Melissa

In the Future...

...Anonymous comments will be deleted unless I like what you say--then I may keep them. If you sign your name and I still don't like what you have posted, I may still delete your comment. It is our blog, our children read it as does our family; I am all for a good discussion (really!) but an anonymous virtual tongue-lashing will get you nowhere but dumped.

Sorry for the negative nature of this post ! My last post drew two people who seem to think that children in orphanages would be better off there than in families that do not suit the opinions of these self-appointed "Orphan Police". I deleted one, the other is still there.

Melissa

Fathers Day for the father of six!

Father's Day is so much more exciting with six children!! The kids all piled on Daddy in bed the morning of the big day. They had been eagerly awaiting the moment to give dad his treasures for three days and when the moment it arrived, it was an explosion!

... Superman boxer shorts from Misha, a hose nozzle from Ivy, a bag of goodies from Hannah, water shoes from Annie, comic book character pajama pants from Max and my favorite--this appropriately-worded shirt from Vitali, who can't read but nevertheless managed to pick out the perfect gift to remind Dad specifically of him:

What is it about boys and things with wheels!

If anyone were to look at my front yard tonight, they would know that I didn't take any lawn-mowing pictures today! I took a bunch the other day, though. How could I resist? It was so funny!

We took our push-mower into the shop to get fixed and while it was there we asked about a rider. To make a long story short, Steve was quite the hero around here when it arrived! I mean, the boys were impressed that we had a push mower but now a riding mower? What could be more exciting?!

We live on about an acre of land and as Steve buzzed around the ever-shortening grass, Max was there, marching ten feet behind all the way.

The girls joined him once in a while:

But only Max stuck it out to the end!

He was barefoot and sweaty but as happy as could be!

And when it was done, everyone took turns going for a ride. Vitali practically shot off of the front step where he had been sitting while keeping a very close eye on the process! ( I am sure he would have walked the whole lawn too but we couldn't be sure he would stay behind the mower!)
What fun!!

Melissa

The Eimers' Six:

Aren't they looking spiffy, all dressed up before Steve's sister's wedding this past weekend?!

...and isn't this picture worth a thousand words?

An Eastern European Orphan Graduation

As we celebrate graduation time here in the US, I wanted to draw attention to the precarious position of Eastern European Orphans as they graduate. This video is compiled of pictures I took in Moldova, Ukraine and other pictures that are public domain.

I will warn you: Some of the pictures are extremely harsh and this video is not appropriate for children.

I was asked why I chose some of the pictures I did. The reason is because this is the reality these children face. We are uncomfortable viewing the HELL these children will be living, but at least for us it only lasts 2 minutes on a video!



Steve

Kagda ya big?

The boys are growing so quickly! At times I think they are not much bigger, although their maturity advances are unquestionable.

DAILY Vitali asks me, "Mama, Kagda ya big?" (Mama, when will I be big?) this is usually his waking thought when he snuggles in my bed and his nightly wish when I tuck him into his.

This little (shh, don't tell him I called him Little!) guy is so full of the life just bursting out of him that he is indescribable! He just can't possibly fit in all the living he wants to do each day. He gives it his best shot, though! He talks
all
the
time ...

...and when he is not talking, I can see him thinking (as he recharges) about how to be like the 'big' people in the house. He is so funny! Vitali breaks my heart each day at nap time, which always seems to come as such a devastating shock to him. The saddest tears emerge as his tiny shoulders slump and he heads for bed--reminds me of Tigger when he had to keep his promise to Rabbit not to bounce. In fact, he often makes me think of good ol' Tigger!

But this morning there was great joy in his tiny heart when he came in to report to me the good news. ( I'll tell you in a minute...if you don't guess first!)

The last couple of nights, Ivy has been our light-turner-offer at bedtime. She only recently has become tall enough to do this without a chair. It took every s t r e t c h y bit of effort but she could do it!

Vita could also turn it on. (This is a new accomplishment since he's been here but not the great cause for rejoicing this morning) Each night, however, when Ivy would turn off the light he couldn't make that last fraction-of-an-inch difference necessary to turn the light OFF himself! He tried; Oh!-- how he tried!

So the big news this morning? You have probably guessed it: Yep, the little man was beaming as he hop-skipped into my room in the early light, "MAMA! Ya off !" ( Mama, I off!) It took me a minute of bleary, sleepy-eyed blinking and Ivy filled in the translation for me, "Tawee turned the Yight OFF!"

He has been so happy all day, resting on his laurels. Oh, what fun to be four years old...I mean, what a thrill!

melissa

Boys...

We never used to give passing aircraft a second look...

No one in our family used to be able to be persuaded to eat vegetables for the promise of big muscles...
...but then that was before we had any brothers in the house!
Life is good--no, it's better--having boys, too.

M.

Today's Topic: The $3.000 Fit

Now, doesn't he look like an angel in the dentist's chair? He was scared but bravely opened his mouth and let the hygienist look in. He grudgingly and only with a small amount of physical force sat still for the x-rays. He gladly opened his mouth for the dentist.
And this is what he got. See how proudly he holds it?! We were leaving the dentist's office and he saw the dentist down the hallway. Loudly he called out to him, "THAAANK YOOOU!" and waved vigorously.

Now, you know the middle of the story. Would you like to hear the rest? Keep reading...

So, all the boys will likely have tooth problems. This is what we expected; this is what we found.

Vitali's teeth look good, actually, but, who knows? Max, on the other hand has a couple of teeth that are just shells and the gums have grown right into the middle of the tooth. His dental appointment a month or two ago was no surprise: four crowns, four extractions and a filling. He's eight. Needless to say, he will have this much work done in the hospital. We have figured that the cost of this is about $3,000 after all the insurances and deductibles. OK. We expected that.

Just this week we took Misha in for a check up. He also has a tooth where, if you look, you can see the gums in the hole in the tooth. This tooth bothers him (Max claims his don't hurt) mostly when he eats.

You've seen the middle of the story. Moving on...

At first, the dentist was saying we might as well do his in the hospital too. He has eight teeth that need work, two of them crowns; the rest, small fillings. I asked if there were any way to do it in the office to save money. He said we could give it a try.

Our chance came the next morning where we were able to fit into a cancellation spot. The plan was to do the two crowns. Misha was doing great though actively complaining about the laughing gas. Then, the doctor numbed his mouth. He did not like that and said it hurt, though it was just the numbness he didn't like. Then came the drill-like thing that spins and sprays a mist of water and it was all downhill from there. In the end, Steve and I laid across his arms and legs and the dentist held his head in the crook of his arm like a foot ball and we all were sweating and trying to alternate between being firm but soothing though it all was to no avail!

When that crown was finished, of course we realized that we couldn't expect the doctor to work on him like that for 7 more teeth! So, we are going to have to have the rest done under sedation in the hospital. And it should be noted that he is very proud of his silver crown and still likes the dentist. He seems to know we were helping him--so he wasn't mad at all. Once he was done--he was fine.

Now. Why do I call that the $3,000 fit? Well, because he wasn't entirely scared. Yes, somewhat, but it was mostly his way of refusing to be uncomfortable. He didn't like the cold water or the buzzing, He didn't like the numbness and he didn't like the laughing gas mask which served only to calm him down enough to keep it on without fussing about it. Frustrating for us because it is a pattern with him.

The sight of a worm is enough to send him into hysterics as well as are puppies or chickens--including the baby ones. If he is nervous; he goes bananas! Aaaarrggghhh!

I wonder if anyone else has seen anything similar? He seems not to know how to process being uncomfortable with anything but to call it pain. The numbness of his cheek, if give him a friendly back scratching, being cold getting out of the tub, Hair clippings on his neck during a haircut...
He whines and writhes and cries out about these kinds of things. At the same time, he can fall and skin his knee, check for blood and not give it a second thought!

Anyway, I admit to being perplexed! Fortunately, while it is frustrating, it isn't something we deal with every day. And most the time we find his "freaking out" a bit humorous (although we don't let him know); that is, until it turns into $3,000! Eeek!

Even so, we love him to death! All of them. What blessings. Who'd have known that in our attempt to help three orphans that we would be so blessed in the process? It almost makes me feel selfish!

Melissa

Camping--well, sort of...

Look at those sweaty, happy boys! No shirts, plenty of dirt smudges and excited over their first time to sleep in a tent! Let me tell you they were so excited when I pulled this out!

Last weekend began a streak of beautiful weather here and Monday and Tuesday nights, I slept in the backyard in the big tent with the kids. Steve slept in the house since he had to work the next days. The nights were pretty chilly and the boys confessed to being cold, but eagerly declared they wanted to sleep there every night!

We found that we need a few more sleeping bags although since we were in the backyard it didn't matter so much. But this week at church a new friend brought us some things her son had outgrown and among those things was a Thomas the Tank Engine sleeping bag! Isn't God good?! You can bet that the boys were pretty thrilled about that!

This week is beginning as winter and ending as spring again. That is the nature of spring, isn't it? They say we might get snow on Monday but Friday is near eighty again! Maybe we'll get to take that sleeping bag for a spin this next weekend. And maybe this time, Mommy will sleep in the comfy bed and Dad can rough it with the kiddos!

And...

If you haven't read the post below this one, then please don't miss it! Last night, Steve shared something that helps illustrate where our hearts now. I hope you will let Steve's thoughts and the little story he shares be an inspiration and encouragement to you.

Blessed beyond belief,
Melissa

How Far the East is From the West

Over and over I am struck by how deep the parallelism of adoption and Christianity runs. One of the deep issues that many adopted children struggle with is "Will I be sent back?" Vitali recently was asking about when we were going to the Detsky Dom? Finally we got online and got the translation of "You are never, never, never going back to the Detsky Dom. Mama and Papa are your parents and they love you and you are going to live with them forever." Vitali just smiled the biggest ear to ear grin when he heard this.

Later Misha was with me and was talking about the orphanage so I typed in the same note. I wish you could have seen Misha running to announce to Max "Nee Kagda, Nee Kagda, Nee Kagda, edeetya Detsky dom" (We are never, never, never going back to the orphanage!) Since then he has asked to have me play the clip again "YEE SHOO Papa". He will come up and say "Nee Kagda, Nee Kagda, Nee Kagda edeetya Detsky Dom" He is not worried he just loves hearing that and then does a silly giggly grin.

I can't help but think of the passage from Psalm 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west He has removed our transgressions from us." It is by adoption that I never, never, never have to face the consequences of my sin. I can't remember a time when I ran around announcing "Nee KAgda, Nee Kagda, Nee Kagda!"

I so wish you could experience the adoption story of the Gospel of Jesus Christ through the same experiences we have had this last couple years. The "preparing a place", "the redemption price", "the leaving the secure sheep and going out to search for the lost sheep", "the rejoicing when one has been redeemed", "the yearning for the others who are lost" and now "knowing how far the East is from the West" are so much more real through this continuing journey.

Here is the video for Casting Crowns' song "East to West"



Steve

One of those days...the good kind

You know those days in early spring when you can hardly wait to be outside? The kind that are so pretty and fresh and the sun coming at it all from the east makes it even more appealing?

Yep, that is the kind of day we started with here this morning!

Once everyone had come back inside from waving goodbye to Daddy this morning, the play-clothes were hurriedly put on! And all the kids (except Hannah--I don't know what she was up to) bounced out the doors to play.

Apparently, Vitali couldn't find his shoes quickly enough and had to settle for his snow boots!
Max didn't even have time to adjust his helmet!
Ivy had time to change out of her nightgown but thought it would be better to add a veil instead and just look beautiful. She does, doesn't she?
She and Vitali rode their little bikes. They aren't allowed to go into the road so they ride down the driveway over and over again. Vita often sits at the bottom watching the big kids going by but here he is at the top about to begin his descent.

Misha saw me with my camera and kept posing for me. He learned to ride a two-wheeler when he saw Max and Hannah learning. He is so proud of being able to pedal! By the way, notice his bike? It was a hand-me-down from a friend of ours and is just his size. He doesn't seem to mind the butterflies at all! He does mind the helmet though! He doesn't like that much at all (not because it's purple) !
He likes to pose for me. They all do. Then they all say, "Pockazhee!" (show!) and look to see the picture on the back of the camera. Even Ivy always says "Pockazhee menya!" When I take her picture. She is so silly.
I love this one of Max:And this one too:

And he asked me to take this one of him with his big giant remote control truck from Grandma and Grandpa E. He loves that thing!

And I should mention that the kids all got bikes for their birthdays, some current and some advance-gifts! Also from Grandma and Grandpa E. Thanks, G'ma and G'pa! They use them every day! Every bike is out and needs to be hauled up the hill each evening. And the kids all take a few trips back and forth and it's done. Good kids!

Things are going so well here. I feel like we must be in for a 'storm' soon! Eeek! I hope not! The boys and girls get along so well and our only clue that the boys haven't always been here is their Russian! But the English is coming along and they each seem to take turns advancing and putting in the extra effort.

Melissa

Chiteeli!!! ( four !)

Here are some pictures of our littlest boy on the fourth anniversary of the day his little life in the big wide world began, although it was his first birthday with us! He is such a little joy despite being a big part of the many times we have flopped into bed at night exhausted!

I wish I could convey in this post the sheer thrill of the day for him! He practically turned himself inside out with excitement!
He surely was excited to have his birthday come! He could hardly wait!

The picture I should have taken of that day (darn hindsight!) was the one of him sitting at the table for a good 45 minutes straight where our normally constantly moving little boy kept a constant vigil over his cake! And, for those of you who know him, you'll be impressed that he managed not to touch the cake, either! (For those of you who don't know him personally, let's just say that so far restraint has not been one of his strong points! He tries; he really does try...)

Does he look happy to you?

Also, I thought you might enjoy hearing the different ways each of the boys refer to birthdays: Misha calls it a "Happy, Happy"
Max calls it a "Happy-to-you",
and Vitali, who even sang himself the song several times on his own birthday( I don't know where he learned it; I didn't try to teach him) says, "Cappy Bootday!"

M.

On the other hand...

Most people probably imagine life around our house as crazy. Truth is, for a while it was pretty nuts! But like most things in life, eventually routine settles in quite comfortably and a home with 6 kids, only half of whom are fluent in English, is no exception!

Earlier today, while I was making six sandwiches (3 egg salad, 3 tuna), I actually said out loud to the kids, "You guys, I am loving having a house with six kids in it!" And I meant it! Now, that does not mean that I love every minute.

For instance:

• I did not love it when I had to leave what I was doing several times this morning to fish matchbox cars from under the stove and refrigerator.

• I did not love rinsing the accident out of Ivy's fluffy princess clothes.

• I really did not love having to get after the little ones twice to stop talking and go to sleep at nap time. They are so cute and it is so pathetic when they get in trouble!
  

• I don't really find third grade language all that interesting.

• And just once a day it would be nice to use the bathroom without somebody rattling the door handle the whole time!

But, on the other hand:

• I do love that the boys had so much fun together racing their cars along the hardwood in the kitchen. I also am glad to report that all the dusty magnetic letters are out from under my fridge and stove!

• I also am glad that I had to clean out the princess dress before it got too dingy since Ivy wears it every day now.

• I love it that Ivy and Vitali giggle and play together so well.

• I am so happy for Hannah because after doing seemingly endless pages today, she reached the end of her whole language book on her own initiative!

• And the bathroom thing...well, I still don't like that all that much! But they won't do it forever. And someday I may wish...

.....ummm...naaah... not for that!

M.