New site address clarification

Okay, it seems there is some confusion. Our new site has been up and running for a while now but although the actual address is the same, it is not the same as the one you see in your address bar right now. www.lovedalready.com had previously been forwarded to this blogspot.com page but is not any longer. Therefore, if you want to see the new site, go to just plain www.lovedalready.com with no ".blogspot" in it.
Melissa

New website

Leep a look-out for our new website coming soon! Same address, nothing changing except the look and functionality. We will have information about Ukraine as well as some family pictures (Yay!) and, of course, we will continue to update the news of our progress in the adoption.

The Family vehicle

Not eco-friendly by any means! Why can't they make a family car that is easy on the gas mileage? Maybe one that runs on the vegetables that the kids won't eat?

New car!

Settle in, I apologize ahead of time--this is long!

Wow! Yesterday turned out to be a pretty crazy birthday! We left the house in the morning and went to Loudon. There we got our criminal backround checks completed and got the birth certificates for Ivy and Annette which we had not noticed had never been ordered until now when we are needing them. We went to McDonald's for a birthday lunch and the girls even spent a few minutes on the playground (even though it was 29 degrees out)!

On the way to McD's we saw an 8-passenger Suburban for sale at a local lot here but were too starving to stop. After lunch we went back and figured we'd take a look. We were looking to buy used but it was a '95 and we weren't expecting much. We looked it over and were impressed, it was in good shape outside and in! We didn't have a lot of time since we had and appointment to meet with our pastor at 3:15 and it was already going on 2:00 but we thought we could squeeze in a test drive. I packed the kids and car seats in and we took off. Steve headed right for the interstate and the dial was at the 'E'. I thought (aloud) that maybe we should go and get a few dollars in gas just to be sure. Well, you can guess the rest, the car was great, handled well, everything seemed to be working and then about a mile from the exit we ran completely out of gas! We were driving a HUGE vehicle up a slight incline and couldn't pull off and ride the shoulder because there was a big truck parked there so we silently coasted on by him with our blinkers on, the kids in the back oblivious and us up front, laughing at our predicament and watching the road. The slight incline turned into a blessing when we crept over the its crest and were able to gather a little speed assuring us of at least making it to the exit! We didn't dare come to a complete stop at the end of the exit despite the fact that there was no real break in the traffic so we coasted around the corner on the shoulder and into a gas station that was in the perfect spot and with open pumps! Once we stopped, we couldn't stop chuckling to ourselves! It was so funny!

We took the car back and talked a bit to the sales people, telling them why we were "upgrading" sharing a laugh over the empty tank and also explaning that we had no time to talk right then but would call them if we were interested.

The appointment with Dr. sager went well. Steve told him our plans to adopt and also talked about his plans for the future, how he would like to see our church get involved with helping and even encouraging couples to pursue adoptions. Brother Doug (that's how they refer to their pastors down here) told us of another man in our church with a similar passion and gave us a number to contact him. I am interested to see what comes of speaking with him.

After our meeting, we decided we would call the car dealer and offer him a very low price, expecting a counter-offer. They were asking $5,995 and we offered $5,000 including everything. Of course the guy said he was sure that wouldn't work but he would ask whoever it is that they ask. We were shopping in Big Lots (getting my Birthday Bunkbeds!) when the salesman called back and said, the owner thinks it is great what you are doing and he wants you to have it at that price. Can you come back tonight and sign the papers? We were shocked. I wouldn't have thought that they would have payed much attention to why we were wanting it as we had only mentioned it in passing. We had the cash but not in the right account so we offered to pay with credit but they said they couldn't do that because they wouldn't be making any profit on this one and couldn't afford the 3% fee that would cost. So we are going back tonight with a check from the credit card company which will allow us to keep our funds free (since that would about wipe us out for now and in our slow season) for all these little and not-so-little processing fees we have with all this adoption paperwork. It also gives them their money now instead of after our money transfer registered which would have added a couple of days.

So it appears that God has had His hand on us again and now that we have the bunkbeds and a big-enough vehicle, all we really still need is a longer kitchen table (and money, of course)! I suppose there might be other things but those are what I can think of now. Things like clothes will have to wait till we meet the kids.

Steve had a class to teach last night so I dropped him and the girls off at church and went off to sign the papers on the car. I finished up just in time to go back and pick them all up and head to Little Ceasar's for a pizza and to Food City for a little $3.99 cake that was just big enough for us to not have leftovers for me to induge on for the next 9 days!

We went home and had a very informal little party where the girls gave me their gifts: a bracelet from annette with the $1.99 tag still prominently attatched and a picture frame from Hannah who bragged that it only cost a dollar though it said $2.00 and also a can of floral, I mean FLORAL air freshener from her too. They were both so proud and I love to watch their excited faces as they wait for my response!

We all crawled happily into bed not much worse for the wear although it was 10:00 and poor Ivy had spent the afternoon being bought off by suckers since she had missed her nap entirely!
So, it was a crazy day but fun and it was great to get so much accomplished toward our adoption which is the best gift of all.

Melissa

Writer's Cramp

Well, we are still plugging away at all this paperwork. Steve says that if all this paperwork were required before having biological children, the birth rate would be about 2!

We had to write our biographies this week for the homestudy. Doing that was reminiscent of writing long essays in high school. It's been a while! In the end, it was kind of fun to read what eachother wrote about ourselves. (I think something isn't right witht the grammar there...oh well) At least it was for me. I don't know about Steve.

The homestudy paperwork is almost done. I have to track down a copy of my birth cirtificate from NY State so we can hurry things along. My copy is off with my passport application-- who knows where and for how long!

My Birthday is Wednesday. I aked for bunk beds. I think it will be funny to tell people that Steve got me bunk beds for my birthday! I know, I am a bit wierd. And for any of you who don't get it, the bunk beds are for the kids--I'll keep my king size!

Melissa

This week

We will be signing our contract for our homestudy.
Hannah, Annette and Ivy will be seeing the pediatrician for physicals required for homestudy.
We will be signing checks to Ukrainian Angels and Adoption Consultants.
We will be changing health insurance companies for adoption reasons.
We will begin filling out the homestudy questionaire and writing our biogragphies.

The process is truly starting and the papers are starting to stack and cash is starting to flow (out).

Steve

Not Bethany after all....

After such a good experience with Bethany Christian services we have, in the end, decided to go with another agency for our homestudy. The reason ends up being heavily influenced by cost. Bethany requires 4 post-placement visits not required by Ukraine. They tell us that this is to protect their good name and I can see their point but I would rather not have to pay them so they can ensure their reputation! At any rate, we are just as pleased with another agency that is down the road in the other direction from our house. It was recomended by our consutlant.

We signed some papers for a notary today and my dad came and took a video for us.
In a way, it is like a pregnancy, where you want pictures of the different stages along the way. So we are trying to get a few representative pictures and videos to show the kids and to put into their "baby" books later on.

Things are really starting to move along now...

Melissa

Bethany

Not you, Bethany my sister, but Bethany Christian Services. We met with a woman named Carrie yesterday at a local agency here in town. This meeting was in regard to our homestudy which is a requirement for being approved to adopt anywhere. This is the one thing on our very extensive list that actually seems like a really good requirement. So much of the paper work (the sum total of which is called our Dossier) seems like unnecessary hurdles to jump through. The homestudy is where a social worker gives a report about us based on interviews with our family both corporately and individually (even the girls). This report will say that we are healthy, sane (hopefully!) and financially able to take on these new children.

I admit, I was a little nervous about this part of the process. After all, many agencies as well as individual social workers pride themselves in thier "liberal" viewpoints which are ususally a world away from our conservative beliefs! Some agencies have gone so far as to ban couples who believe in corporal punishment and even to prohibit adopting children whose ages would be less that one year away from a child living currently in the home. (As if the situation for this child in an orphanage would be preferable to being close in age to a new sibling) I admit, I just don't see eye to eye with these types of ideals. Thing is, I was afraid that this was the type of person who would be "inspecting" us and determining our fitness to adopt.

Then we met Carrie. She was very friendly, well-informed and put me right at ease. I could see that she would not look down her nose at us but would be patient to answer our myriad of questions. And ask we did! We were very comfortable with her knowledge and ability to explain the system to us as well as to anticipate what things we would find helpful--answering questions before we asked them. I am sure we asked some questions which sounded dumb (and maybe were!) but you never would have guessed it from her responses. I think I am very comfortable using this agency for our homestudy.

Phew! what a relief! Now for the footwork....

Melissa

Ps. Please pray for us because we need to have a country and an agency(or not) decided on in order to have the homestudy completed. If we go with an agency to Ukraine, we would still be independant once in the country anyway. Being independent would mean that we assemble everything ourselves and get our own contacts in country. It would not mean going it entirely alone, however, because there is a lady in Florida that assists with independent adoptions to Ukraine. The independent option may mean more work for us but could save us as much as ten thousand dollars!

Ukrainian Church

Today we went to a Ukrainian church here in Knoxville. I recognized three words in 2.5 hours; "spaciba"- thank you and "koishka"- cat, and "hallejulah". I was able to recognize the Lord's prayer by its cadence. When they pray they all pray out loud at the same time very loud. It was a neat experience but I think I may want to know a few more words next time I go back.

I particulary liked looking at the facial characteristics of the children just to get a better idea of what our children will probably look like.

Steve

Appointment with Bethany Christian Services

Well we have an appointment with Bethany Christian Services and hope to sign a contract with them for our homestudy some time next week if all works out well. We hope to go to the local Ukraine Baptist Church on Sunday.

Thanks,

Steve

Goals

To our children,

It feels good to have made some real progress this week. We have completed the finishing touches on the 4th bedroom in the basement. We got Mom's passport application processed. We have left several voice mails at the agency we expect to do your homestudy. (the international coordinator has been out and in and back out sick)

Next week we will finish up the school area in the basement and the storage area. We will hopefully sign the contract for your homestudy and complete our 2006 income tax returns. I also hope to get the basement measured for carpet. I have been reminded of Jesus' words this week in John 14 about preparing a place for His children. I promise that we are preparing a place for you and we will surely come to receive you.

We still think you are in Ukraine but are still looking at the possibility you are in Moldova, Latvia, Estonia or maybe even Poland. We pray that we will at least know what country you are in soon.

Love,

Dad

Happy New Year

We will be starting adoption preperations tomorrow 1.1.07 . The things we will be working on this week are submitting Melissa's application for her passport, setting up meetings with the agency who will be doing our homestudy, and beginning to make the improvements necessary to our home.

I found this site, Home For Good, the other day, and like this pamphlet.

Makes you think about the fact we are the adopted sons of God. Jesus went to prepare a place for us not an orphanage, and we can cry Abba, Father to God and we won't be St. Peter's foster children. This site really makes the argument that adoption is a true mission field.

Thanks,

Steve

I can't wait!

Christmas is over and we are getting ready now for the New Year's celebration. My brothers and sister and their families will be in town for the occasion and we are hoping to get a family picture taken of all of us together. Maybe next year we'll be needing a new one!

Steve got gifts for our waiting children. He bought them a soccer ball because they will probably prefer soccer to some of our American sports. He also bought three more ice cream bowls to match the five we have making enough to have one for each family member after the children arrive. Such small things but I think they are the first tangible things we have gotten specifically for these new childen. Soon we will be shopping garage sales for a bunk bed and another twin sized mattress. We'll need sheets and pillows and another dresser. Of course we will need a new vehicle, too. That will be our biggest expense but it will be for us all. These are things we can get now without knowing the gender and ages of the children.

If we do adopt from Ukraine, we won't know anything about the children untill we are there to pick them up! Scary, in a way, not knowing what we will come home with; hoping that we will be able to come home with three like we went for, ideally, two boys and a girl or three girls or three boys. That will make it easiest for dividing up the bedrooms. Such a petty criteria for such a big, important decision. Of course, if what we find is two girls and a boy (poor boy; all these girls!) , then we will still rejoice that we have found our children!

I guess I did buy something a little while back that is sort of for the children. I found three two-photo picture frames and put three pictures of our girls in them, one picture in each frame. the empty spaces are a frequent reminder to us that someday we will be able to fill those vacant spaces with our three new children's smiling faces. I can't wait!--Hmm, I say that a lot lately.

Happy New Year to all of you!

Melissa

Merry Christmas

It is 9:35 pm and it is Christmas in Ukraine. We were sitting in church this evening and I had to catch myself from breaking down. Annette, my 4-year-old daughter, was running her fingers through my hair.

When I was in Moldova, I wanted to absorb every last experience. I wanted to be first out and last in the van and I am sure at times I got on some nerves. I didn't want to spend one second less than I could with the kids. There was one young girl in an orphanage outside Cahul, Moldova who just grabbed my heart. She kept running her fingers through my hair and just sat and held my hand for the longest time.

One of the things I heard at this orphanage was that the kids were "special needs" and nobody would want one like these. They were right, I want three!

We started this with mostly altruistic intentions but I don't know how now to express the consuming desire to meet my children, to protect my children, and to love my children whoever, wherever and whatever they are. I feel I understand God's desire for a relationship with us, His adopted children, better now. I long for a relationship with desperate, pitiful, and in the eyes of most men, worthless children. I am willing to sacrifice my time, my treasure, and whatever else necessary to complete the passion God has given us.

Tonight has been more difficult than I expected knowing our kids are somewhere in Eastern Europe facing desperate odds and an unpredictable future.

Please pray specifically for the children God has planned for us that they will be safe and protected until we can assume responsibility for them. That the paperwork and process will be completed in a timely and efficient manner. That the "ransom" will be provided. That our children will bond with our family and be able to cope with their losses.

I keep being drawn to the words of two great theologians: Garth Brooks and Martin Luther. The first being "Life is not tried, it's just merely survived if you are standing outside the fire" and the second, "God help me, here I stand, I can do no other."

Steve

Decision

Well, we have decided not to do the Moldovan adoption. There are various reasons for this decision but it is good to be back on track again instead of feeling like things were up in the air, so to speak.

Christmas is almost here and we told the girls we were not going to have as many gifts this year so we could save our money for our adoption. Hannah said that if she could only get one gift, it would be to get the orphans. That's how we all feel here. That will truly be a gift!

Merry Christmas to all of you and please remember that this season is not about giving , it's about a gift. May the gift of forgiveness from Jesus Christ fill your hearts this year!

Something to Pray About

We have been thinking hard since Steve got back from Moldova (He had a good experience there and will likely post about it on his website, www.StephenEimers.com ). What has given us so much to consider? Well, for starters, we were holding out on our final decision regarding country until after he got back in case he met some kids there that he just knew he had to have. That didn't happen but what did happen is the issue. It seems there is a group of five children over there; a fifteen year old boy, 11 and 13 year-old girls, an eight-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl. A family in Texas is wanting to adopt them, well, not all of them; they especially want the littlest girl and will take the two boys. Here's our dilemma, These girls are much older than we are looking for. Also, it would mean only getting two when we were looking for three. The thing that makes us at all inclined to consider is that the people in Texas are willing to pretty much pay for the whole thing so that they can get their kids. Oh, I forgot to mention that a Moldovan judge told them that they could not adopt only part of these children unless the others were adopted as well, not necessarily by them, just that they must get a home too.

We don't like the idea of separating these children at all but it looks as though they will be separated regardless of what we do. Another big concern for us is that this REALLY usurps Hannah's place as oldest. This is something very important to her and because she and the others are already willing to give up so much I hate to ask for something so huge from her. She is reluctantly okay with someone older who is close to her age but this would be four years at least in difference and when you are seven, it's a big deal. It also seems a little too good to be true, which makes us suspicious, and while we recognize that this could be God providing, since money is one of our biggest hurdles in this endeavor (Okay, our biggest!), It may just be a distraction from our original plans. This is our prayer, that we will have wisdom and discernment in this regard.

In talking with my parents and Grandfather about this, something my Grandpa said is what sticks in my mind. He said, "It occurs to me that thirty-three thousand dollars is not that much over a lifetime." He's right, of course, and we don't want it to be about the money but it does make us have to consider the possibility.

I think we are leaning away from this but will pursue it just a bit farther to make sure. We will let you know. In the mean time, keep us in your prayers . This is the first "loop" in this emotional roller coaster ride of a process.

Melissa

Moldova Mission Project

Well I leave this Saturday to go to Moldova. Moldova is just beside Ukraine. I will be helping place new boots on every orphan in State custody. Just picked up several artificial hand warmers to give to the kids. Looks like temps should be in the high 30's to low 40's. I am sure seeing these kids in this situation will be very difficult knowing the journey we have just started. Please pray that all goes well.

Thanks,

Steve

Loved Already

I just want to say at the outset how excited I am to be "expecting"! I have had three children naturally and am so surprised to find the same indescribable emotions rising in my heart for these three that are out there not knowing that we love them like crazy and are willing to go to the end of the earth to get them!

I think this is teaching me more about God; about how he loved us before we ever were born. We didn't know ANYTHING, let alone that there was an infinite all-powerful, personal God out there who loved us completely and uncondidtionally. They say you will never know how much your parents love you until you have your own children. I guess in a way this gives me a tiny glimpse further into the nature of the God I love. Amazing.

Melissa

Here we go

Welcome to the temporary site we will be using to chronicle our adoption journey.

Thanks,

Steve and Melissa