Monday, January 21, 2008

Absolute Gain Costs Absolute Loss

After arriving in Knoxville on Saturday we were greeted by several friends and family. The local NBC affiliate WBIR was there and did a story about the journey to our boys. You can find the story here and the video here.

There have been several challenges the last week but the boys behavior has improved significantly. Bedtime is no longer a battle and the boys go to bed and stay. We went to church yesterday and the boys had a chance to see their classes and we sat through the songs and then had to leave because the boys were getting loud. We have gotten so much help and for that we are so grateful and cannot thank all of you enough.

Tomorrow Max and I will be going to an appointment with the pediatric dentist. Max's teeth are in very rough shape and will need extensive work. Somehow he is not in pain; I don't know how! A special thanks to Dr. Irwin for helping us get such a quick appointment.

It has been said, that these boys are "lucky", fortunate, and have gained everything. The reality is that to gain everything these boys have lost everything. Little Vitali is usually very happy but periodically he will sadly ask about going to the "detsky dom" (baby orphanage.) The reality is our boys have lost their entire identity. Absolute gain has cost our boys what they knew as home. Absolute gain has cost them what they knew as family. Absolute gain has cost them everything they were familiar with. Absolute gain has cost these boys absolute loss!

Please remember our boys as they go through these next few weeks. While we see the ultimate gain they are experiencing the loss. Please pray that as the weeks past they continue to make this transition smoothly. Pray that the boys will continue to accept our love. Please pray that God will restore to them the lost years and help them to become Godly men. Please pray for our girls as they must sacrifice their time right now with us for their brothers. Please pray for Melissa and I; for our health, that we will be rested, and remember our commitment to each other.

Thanks,

Steve

13 comments:

Aunt Candy said...

I'm so glad you're finally home with your boys. I can't wait to meet them. There are so many people praying for you all. I will pray for strength for you, and you're whole family.

Mandie said...

Seeing your family finally together brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad that everything went well. I'll continue praying for your family.

Stange Family said...

you can count on my prayers.

Auntie G said...

Praying for your whole family.
Gail

Laurel said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I felt your pain in reading about your agonizing trip home. We have 5 adopted children, 4 from Ukraine (two adoption trips). Both trips home with our children were horrid! You have an incredibly beautiful family. Eat your wheaties! You'll need extra strength for a while (I KNOW this for a fact!). You have been truly blessed and God will continue to help you with the adjustment and bonding. God Bless your new family.
Laurel
http://boylanadoption.spaces.live.com/

Tami said...

The boys will definitely be in our prayers...as will you and the girls. I'm often reminded of that absolute loss when I start to get uncomfortable here. My loss is temporary...Maddie's loss is permanent. And while I know it's for her own good, it is still going to hurt. ((hugs))

Aunt Denise said...

In time those losses will be just a distance memory for the boys...time heals so much. We will continue to pray.

cara said...

You are so right! I don't think people who haven't adopted can completely grasp the loss these children go through. I can't imagine what they are thinking. You will be in our prayers. Cara
www.norbycjukraineangel.blogspot.com

Beth said...

I'm so glad the news did a story on the adoption. It's something everyone should be witness to. What an amazing thing you are doing for these boys and a great testimony of God's love and grace.

Abby said...

I saw the clip on WBIR yesterday while searching for a wearther report. I found your blog through a comment on Mary's (owlhaven)blog. I was in absolute tears. (We live close to Knoxville).

You can definitely count on our family for prayers. We are going to adopt 2 young siblings from Ethiopia, God willing.

Blessings to your family,
Abby

Abby said...

I promise I know how to spell! "wearther" Um, it should read weather. Ha! I'm shaking my head laughing right now.

Abby

The O'Haras said...

Steve, thank you so much for the honesty and heart felt statements. Even having gone through it and bringing home 2 daughters, I felt the tears well up inside as I read your absolute gain, absolute cost. I am reminded of our savior and His absolute cost for our absolute gain. That we take our absolute gain for granted of the absolute cost He gave. It is a daily reminder of being adopted into the family of God. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you make these next few weeks. It is hard, no doubt...pray for your wife and protect her like there is no tomorrow. Email me if you need to talk to a brother going through it as well and I will give you my phone number. In our prayers!

Jeri said...

Steve, watching you being interviewed I was in awe. In awe of a daddy whose heart was right there, surrounding his new sons. Your boys are so fortunate to have two parents totally committed to bringing them home. God bless your family.