I have been asked if I am judging people’s motives for adopting. In one sense, yes I am, on the other hand no. (Nice political answer right?)
I can honestly admit that our motives when we started the adoption of our sons were an inward desire to altruism. I wanted to do something of significance. Something that mattered! It was about our feelings.
Is it wrong to adopt to fulfill a dream? Of course not! I can however tell you this dream at times can be a nightmare!
Is adoption a natural solution to infertility? This is an obvious yes. I have talked with countless couples who say “I wish we hadn’t started with the idea that adoption was our last resort.”
Adoption is a worthy choice in and of itself!
I accept almost any catalyst towards adoption but I can assure you that reason will likely not be enough to hold you up during the tough times.
I try to refocus attention repeatedly to the purpose of adoption because ontologically speaking these lost children were created in the image of the holy and just God. When (NOT IF) you hit the hard times in adoption this will be what sustains you.
The hurt child will find and expose every character flaw you have. If we move our focus on adoption away from our own desires and for that matter the lost child’s desire and towards the need and ontological value of the child this is what will carry us through the trials.
Adoption and all life issues surround one central theme: the inherent transcendent value of the human soul!