PapaMisha

In an effort to develop a better sense of caring and compassion in our middle boy, Misha (7), we have gone and gotten him a little fluffy, delicate, high-maintenance pet.
A baby chick.
What could be cuter?

Misha has come so far from his early trips to our friend's farm where he would shrink in terror at the mere thought of holding anything living regardless of its fluffy cuteness. And, by the way, when I say, 'shrink in terror'? I mean it, okay?!

One thing Misha is much better at is self-control. By this I mean that, even though dogs no longer make him terrified but just simply very nervous, he hides it well. He may even pet the dog or comment on its adorableness but he would never do either of those things without an adult that he wants to impress present. He is the same way with people-babies, incidentally. (not afraid of people babies, though. Just weirded-out by them. He truly doesn't see what all the fuss is about!)

Anyway, because we want to teach him to not only be "un-scared" of animals and just "un-weirded-out" by babies, we had this idea that a baby chick might be just the thing to foster some independence and compassionate thinking in Misha.

Frankly, I don't care if he loves animals. I don't want him to hate them, though. I also want him to be comfortable with and even to truly enjoy babies and small children. This little exercise seems a great chance for us to talk directly about things with him and to train him individually in the area of caring for others less able than himself.

We let him pick the chick from our friends Tami and Chuck's chick brooder. It was newly hatched but fluffy. There were several different varieties but Misha had little interest and pointed quickly to a fluffy yellow little guy(or girl).

Chick and a bit of starter feed in hand, we thanked our friends and headed off to Walmart to get a clamp-light, a thermometer and a newspaper. In the car, Misha was holding the chick obediently and even with a nice artificial smile until I said to him, "hold your little chick closely, Misha, he needs to be warm. You are his papa now, you know."

Misha's eyes lit up a bit and he wriggled little Indiana Jones (that's is the chick's name) closer to his chest. Progress.

Indiana Jones is still doing well a few days later. Misha was outside teaching him to follow his PapaMisha through the grass. Indiana enjoyed pecking at the lawn and Misha enjoyed watching him. I am hoping that this really makes some headway into the mind of our little boy who has spent the bulk of his life practicing self-preservation and perfecting his charm in order to be as far at the top of the "pecking" order as possible. While we are glad to see that some of these behaviors have been modified, we know that he is just mostly obeying us and that real change will have to come from his heart. Hopefully, Indiana Jones will awaken that part of Misha and allow him to more fully experience his life.

Oh. And, to celebrate our new addition--Look what we had for dinner.
Mmmm....

Maybe the fact that we found this funny is partly why he still has compassion issues...
.......naaah. I doubt that.
:-)



Melissa

Playing....

Working hard

Homeschooling has been incredibly difficult this year. Not so much because of the number of kids but because of the difficulties that Max and Misha have had with various things. One is to be expected: I have had to sit with them through every paper in order to tell them what to do at each new section. They simply couldn't read well enough to move through the worksheets on their own. Even if they could, two part instructions or even simple prepositional phrases proved to be tricky English for my boys.

This gives me a good way to measure their progress, though. I have noticed more and more that Max especially will try and read his own directions and usually get the simple ones right! This is a big help to me.

Another major problem has been that new concepts, and occasionally well-known concepts, cause the boys to just plain shut down. They don't know how to do something so they visibly quit. They will sit and stare at me or at the paper not hearing or caring to learn anything. It is like talking to a wall. I can not tell you how frustrating this is when I have to sit with them and I KNOW that this behavior means my sitting there forever!

The good news is that we seem to finally be conquering this problem. I have done two things. One, this usually occurs in math so that when it happens (So-and-so doesn't know what 5+3 equals today and refuses to put any effort into figuring it out), I just calmly hand them their copy book. This is a book where they have written all the number facts and equivalents that we need to know at this point. 1+1=2, 1+2=3, etc... I send them off to read it aloud. This makes them very upset but it accomplishes some important things: It does not allow their behavior to control my time to excess, It helps to solidify the simple number facts in their minds, and it gives them incentive to avoid having to do this!

I think that I may be dealing with some prenatal alcohol exposure issues in some cases, but even there, the book reading helps because of the repetition. Also, it is an immediate but not overly stimulating consequence/result.

Another thing that I do is to state my intentions and to try and train their attitudes to be more positive. For instance, it makes more sense to them if I say, "Reading your book is not a punishment, it is to help you to learn these things that give you so much trouble! It is a good thing!" They buy that pretty well :-)

Also, I sometimes say what I think is obvious but that I notice does not occur to them. One instance of this is that I might say, "When you don't know how to do something, you can be glad because Mommy can help you to know it! Now you will know a new thing!!" I, at one point noticed that the shut-down that they do is a form of giving up and being defeated. It doesn't seem to occur to them to try.

Anyway, all that to say that I am seeing progress at last! Schoolwork has been quickly and happily done lately. That is HUGE!

Also, Walker, Texas Ranger is on tonight and they want to be sure and get to watch it!

English lesson gone awry

(Misha at a football game this past fall)

A couple months ago, I realized that Misha does not have the language skills the other two boys have acquired. Why did it take me so long to notice? Because he has a two-fold personality trait in that he is very expressive with his hands and body language and that is combined with the fact that he is good at reading others' body language and intent without necessarily understanding the words spoken. These two things masked the fact that he wasn't using words because he didn't know them! (he understands, for instance "vacuum" but might not be able to come up with the word on his own. He would say "Vrooomm" and act it out)

Anyway, I have started reminding him to "Use words" when he talks and have been asking him to repeat what I say to him sometimes to see if he listened to what I actually said (usually, I have to repeat myself). Steve has been stopping him every once in a while to quiz him with "What's that?" questions. Like the other day:

Steve: Misha, what is that? (Pointing at the light)

Misha: Light

Steve: And what is that around it?

Misha: I don't know

Steve: It's a fan... And this?

Misha: Bed

Steve: And what is that white part up there? (Pointing at the ceiling)

Misha: Seal. Steve: No, close--It's a ceiling.
And what is on the floor? (Pointing at the carpet)
Misha: Toys!

Yep. he got that right! Obviously I need to clean my room!

melissa

Snow in Tennessee!!

(All three boys coming after Mommy!
Uh Oh! Looks like Mommy got Misha! And, disregard the pink snow pants, please!
We live in TN where it snows twice a year so we wear whatever we have!)

Click the link for more pictures on our Family Blog at:

Life Here

Max

Max came running into the house breathlessly exclaiming, "Mama! For you!!"

He handed over a large, but spindly, blackened, and crumbly, twiggy-looking thing. I tried to figure out why it was for me...and then I noticed, there on the ends of the brittle stems were tiny dried flowers. The only ones around this time of year for a boy who wants to pick flowers for his Mama.

Thank you, Max; I love you too.
And now why is my sweet boy so excited? And why is he standing by the clock chanting "Teek, Tock, Teek, Tock, Teek, Tock...."? (apparently our clock has a Russian accent, who knew?)
Because it is almost 7:00pm.

Time to watch Walker, Texas Ranger:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tW1tIpE95kc

It's become a family event a couple of nights per week. The boys love it. We HAVE to get a video of them watching the big fight scene at the end. Oh how fun it is when the bad guys get it!!

More snow...New family photo!

The Freezing Eimers Family, January 20, 2007

We had more snow overnight to replace what we used up yesterday. It was too cold for snowman making but ok for sledding which was a fun thing to do. Poor Vitali felt that he didn't get enough sled time. I said to him, " Vitali! You don't look very happy."
"I am happy." he replied.
"OK, Then show me your happy face", I asked. This, aparently, was his happy face:

But he was just having a grumpy moment.
Now we can see his real happy face:
...as you can see, he got sled time too!

He and Ivy were snow buddies. I think they felt the pink-pants bond.

But we really did have a good time! Here are a couple more pictures I thought were cute and fun.
Melissa

To celebrate one year being home: Snow!

Today marks the one-year anniversary of us being home and the beginning of our family being together. This is the day that we count as our real homecoming.

Last year on January 19th, I had managed to hold back all the tears until I saw the girls running toward us in the airport. Many of our friends were there with signs reading Welcome Home! in Russian. What a relief it was to be home!

This January 19th, we got our first 'real' snow of the season. The kids were so excited and it seemed that the dryer was running all day drying sopping wet mittens and coats and pants. Somewhere in there we even managed to finish the basics of schoolwork. What a great way to celebrate--except for the schoolwork part.

Max loved the snow...
...He stayed out long after everyone else went shivering and dripping into the house.

This is Misha right before I said, "Misha! Get into the house and put on a WINTER coat!"

This is Vitali's Crazy Face. When we see this face, we know that we have about three seconds to redirect him before he throws something or hits someone. That boy has energy he doesn't know what to do with! Outside is the best place to have a Crazy Face.

Catching snow in cups. Two seconds later he threw them as far as he could:

One year ago today our lives were in total upheaval! Now we have settled into our new normal. We still count to six constantly when we go out but it somehow doesn't seem like such a big number...at least most of the time!

Leslie suggested in her comment last post that I should post something about how the boys have progressed. Where they were then compared to where they are now. The things they have learned as well as the things that they have still to work on. I think this is a great idea and I am glad she suggested it. If anyone else has suggestions, please let me know! I sometimes run short on ideas.

Well, I am off to join the family watching Walker, Texas Ranger. I will have to post video of that sometime! The boys, especially Misha, get so excited during the big fight scene at the end of every episode. It is pretty funny!

Melissa

One year ago today...

...We were sitting on a plane with three very nicely behaved boys leaving Kiev and heading to our connecting flight in Austria.

We landed in Austria and it was all downhill from there. Misha was especially troublesome. He thought it was funny to run away so we would have to chase him. He ate a piece of gum that he found stuck to a garbage can; told us where to go and how to get there, and that sort of thing. There, he was the worst, but they all were naughty!

After that we were on a plane for nine hours held hostage by three terribly behaved little boys! People looked at us wondering about our parenting skills. Most people who found out that the boys had been in an orphanage only days before melted their annoyed expressions and offered help. We are very thankful to the nice man on the plane that Misha kept waking up and waving to, to the lady in the Austrian airport who gave him a piece of gum that did NOT come off the garbage can, to the families with small children who read books to Misha and to the Romanian Grandmother from Cleveland who rocked Vitali to sleep after seven hours of him mostly crying! We even thank the thoughtful airline which installed seatback televisions and remotes so that Max could play with them in between grumping at us and getting himself locked in the bathroom every 25 ninutes!

How great it was to touch down in the USA, getting past customs and immigration quickly because our boys were so horrible the customs agent took pity on us probably because, no joke, we were reduced to laying them on the floor and standing on the edges of their coats so that they would stop running off in three directions while our paperwork was sorted through! What a relief when at last we saw Babushka and Aunt Laurie whose presence was heralded by a bunch of American flags and bobbing red-white-and-blue balloons!
First day as Americans but we weren't home yet...

...what a dissappointment when we found out that our flight to Knoxville was canceled! We would be stuck in DC for a few days with some potty mouthed boys and our best friends, the monkey leash and the Dawn Dish soap. Thank goodness for Aunt Laurie and Babushka Eimers!

Christmas photos!

(Misha, Vital,i and Max, mouths full of chocolate and bubble gum
posing with their new fluffy friends)

A couple of days before Christmas, the boys received a fabulous pre-Christmas celebration complete with gifts just for them! A special couple wanted to do something for our boys to mark their first American Christmas and to express how happy they are that Max, Misha and Vitali have a family of their very own this year. Isn't that great?! They brought quite a few lovely gifts and each gift was so perfect that I was amazed--still am! This generous couple had never really met the boys personally and yet the gifts the boys received were absolutely inspired!
Steve and I kept glancing at eachother with open mouthed amazement.
And the boys were thrilled, of course! (Misha yelled, "TWO SHOES!!")

Since this occasion was just for the boys, I had given the girls the option of going somewhere else for the evening but they wouldn't miss it for the world! They are so happy to have brothers and they are used to the fact that things are still a little different for the boys. In many ways, it is like we have new babies in the house. Everyone knows babies get extra attention. :-) (Shhhh....don't tell the boys I said they were like babies!) We are so blessed that our family has welcomed these boys with such wide open arms. The girls have been so unselfish and wonderful in their attitudes. In fact, they were just plain honored that their brothers could be so blessed! And if it sounds like I'm bragging--I am!

And, let me tell you my special Christmas gift: My mom's housekeeper, Joanne, wanted to do something to express her welcome for our boys and to help me out this Christmas. She insisted on cleaning our house for us!!! I was able to get my tidying up done early and then do some last minute shopping with Steve (My mom had the kids--another wonderful blessing for me!) and come home later to the house sparkling and smelling so clean! I think it is worth noting that despite the fact that the number of children in our house has doubled this year, this is the first year that I have actually gotten to bed EARLY on Christmas Eve!! What a wonderful treat that was!

Speaking of Christmas Eve, Hannah gathered the kids together into costume that special night in our living room and put on a very quick performance of "Joy to the World" sung/mumbled-with-a-Russian-accent. After the musical number, they all posed for a nativity picture. All except Ivy that is. I think she would have rather been Mary so she could hold the baby Jesus.Christmas morning was a fun time for the children. The kids unpacked their stockings first. These stockings were a gift from the mother of a very good friend of ours. She made them each a stocking and then each stocking is personalized with the children's names! How fun! Then we ate lefse for breakfast, this is the first time the boys had tried lefse, a Norwiegian tradition we do that honors my mother's heritage. Max liked it quite a bit, but it is one of those things that has to grow on you. :-)(Vitali, opening a "family gift" a six-piece percussion set--I know, what was I thinking?!)

We opened gift after gift. The kids had each shopped for eachother at the dollar store (Love that place!) That right there was 30 gifts! They had also wrapped up a whole bunch of their own toys and clothes to give to eachother. And then there were the "real" gifts! Such fun!

After the gift opening was done, the kids played a while with their new prizes.
Then we all went to my mom and dad's house for a simple but delicious dinner. With cheesecake and the rest of the cookies for dessert. Mmmm!

The theme of our Christmas this year seemed to be the generosity and love of others. God has richly blessed us! We truly just shake our heads in humble grattitude. Thank you all who watch our story, who pray for us, rejoice with us and who have lent a helping hand! We may not ever be able to repay you but we are so thankful. More than you know.

We hope your Christmas was as special as ours!
Happy New Year!
God bless you all.

A First-Ever for Vitali:

Lost in translation--again! With a Christmas/Jungle theme

It is the first Christmas for the boys in America! We decorated the tree several weeks ago and all the children were so excited! The boys watched as the girls picked out several ornaments from Christmases before gleefully chatting about their memories and I noticed thoughts passing in the eyes of the older boys. I wonder what they were thinking--or maybe they were just processing the information. Next year they will have memories on our tree too.

We have an advent box that has a little door for every day of December until Christmas. What fun each night when they all line up and the child whose turn it is swings open the tiny door! Last night, they found a strip of paper which led them around the house a bit. The end of the search was a red gift bag with some markers and construction paper in it. My mom had sent over all the markers for them.

They spent all last evening drawing and creating and woke up only to pick up where they had left off! Misha asked me how to spell "gorilla", so I told him. After the "a", he wanted to put a period. "It's not a sentence", I corrected him. So he thought about it and added some words. Now, according to him, the sentence reads, " The gorilla ate the sandwich". But it doesn't, because word order does matter in English! Ha ha! And, yes, that should say "sandwich" but when he asked how to spell "Shannwich" I just couldn't resist....

Melissa