Archive Post: Phew!

Sorry not to have posted sooner. I was having Blog issues. Here is the latest news and it turns out to be better than we had hoped for!

Throughout the course of the day on Tuesday it was hard to sort out rumor from fact and now that the dust has settled, so to speak, we have found out that in fact, the quotas, which caused so much concern will likely not affect Americans. I don't know what happens with the Canadians and the Germans but this quota system is being challenged in Ukraine because it is actually illegal by Ukrainian law!

The even better news requires a bit of explanation. This is confusing and hard to explain clearly but here goes:

Up until now one of our biggest challenges with the paper work is that while every piece of paperwork expires (most at the one year mark), Ukraine refused any dossier (all the paperwork) that had ANYthing expiring within six months. So it would seem that as long as all the forms were assembled within six months we would have plenty of time, right? Wrong. Not only did each form need the 6-month buffer but so did the license of every Doctor, Social worker, Notary and Apostille. Even the Adoption agency's license must not be due to expire within 6 months! I cannot tell you how difficult this is to accomplish and these licenses could not be renewed early (we checked!). In waiting for one, another would time out and on and on.

Someone petitioned the US Embassy in Ukraine and they are now waiving this rule for Americans! Apparently, the problem comes because of the system by which we do our license renewals. It just was not "translating" into being do-able. Now, the rule is just that the licenses must be current at the time the paperwork was assembled. This is a huge relief!

With all this, we are still likely staying with Ukraine. We will decide for sure this week. The reason we still have hesitation is that we worry about the stability there.

We continue to ask for your prayers. I find myself thinking of the children often and am so looking forward to just getting them here.

Melissa

Archive Post: Breaking news... Pray.

We just found out that Ukraine has now decided to limit the number of foreign adoptions it allows. The number is based on the average number of yearly adoptions per counry MINUS the number of non-compliant (people who do not continue to send in yearly progress reports as they must agree to do) adopters. This number ends up being only 75 for Germany and 24 for Canada. Both of these countries have already maxed out for the year. The U.S. is alotted 320 but this large number only represents a higher number of adopters in this country and the percentage will likely mean that it is maxedout by late spring. We are waiting now to hear from our consultant as to her reccommendation but we were just about to get our fingerprints done and then send our imigration form to USCIS. Now we have been advised to hold off on doing this as we may have to switch countries.

I am sure I do not need to tell you how discouraging this is since to change will be very costly and would involve finding an agency (we are now independant) not to mention delay the process. Please take a moment and pray for this situation. If we had to be stopped mid-stream, we were days away from it being even more of a burdeon. I am thinking also of families who were further along than us .

This is very punitive on the part of the Ukrainian Government but it is meant to act out against families that did not do what they had promised and it turns out to punish everyone involved EXCEPT them! They already have their children.

Pray.

Melissa

Update: Our consultant just told us that she's being told that this is a quarterly quota that should not affect the U.S. I hope that is true! We will keep you posted. She is just finding out the details herself.

Archive Post: Fingerprint card

Yea! Our fingerprint card came in the mail today! Our homestudy report has to be complete in order to go and get the prints but it hopefully should be done this next week. It feels good to be able to do something. (looks like we will be coming for a visit before long, Beth!)

M.

Archive Post: Fundraising

Keep a look-out on our fundraising page for our first fundraising effort. I am hand-painting greeting cards to be sold in packages of 12. So far I have two packages-worth done so I will need to step it up! I'm hoping orders start piling in.

I was listening to my Russian last night wihile I painted and Steve, from the living room, said what I was thinking, "I just want to GET there!" Spring is starting here and having a touch of the spring fever just magnifies our desire to get going!

M.

Archive Post: Waiting... February 27, 2007

We are still waiting for our petition to sponser an imigrant child form(I600A) to be prcessed. This is the part that is expected to take several months. Steve took it with him to church the Sunday before we mailed it and had everybody we saw pray over it. The first part of it is expected to go quickly. They get the form and then send a card to us so that we can go to Nashville and get our fingerprinting done. Then we send it back and settle in for the long wait. They have cashed the check so we know it is there!

Some have asked about the insurance situation. We have gotten that worked out so that we could get a group plan for the business and put us on it. This requires that adoptive children be treated the same as any child born to us naturally. No pre-existing conditions. We still are intending to fight the battle with TRH but not yet.

Business is picking up again. When spring comes and the sun shines everyone starts calling at once. Steve has almost no work for the month of January but now he has every day this week booked, starting today! This is a mixed blessing since we need the money more now than ever but it is hard for Steve because he has a hip problem that seems related to his work that keeps flaring up. Please keep him in your prayers.

We are working on learning our Russian. I am planning to order a set of books and tapes to listen to in our our car but we also have a CD set that is more designed for tourists. We started out wondering if we would ever say a single word but our tongues are starting to give in to the extra ordinary demands of the Russian language!

Thank you to all who are praying. We appreciate this more than you know.

Du'svidan'i!

Melissa

Archive Post: I600 A

We are submitting our I600A petition to sponsor an immigrant child/ orphan with the USCIS which is the old INS. We are forced to do this at the Memphis office. Please pray that this form will not be delayed and will be processed in a timely manner.

Thanks

Steve

Archive Post: Valentine's Day 2007

We have been busy this week. We have finished up patching a big hole in the

ceiling in the basement from a leaky pipe. We painted and installed all the
finishing touches. We ordered the carpet for the basement. We have nearly
finished all the necessary indirect expenses for the adoption other than
clothing the kids.

We have our in home visit tomorrow and our sending the I600A in after that.

Pray that the form will be processed expeditiously.

Thanks,
Steve

Archive post: February 22, 2007

We spent the day in the Atlanta area attending a conference on parenting hurt children. Actually, it was designed more for social workers but it was great for us, too. The speaker, Dr. Gregory Keck, was very entertaining while still being extremely relevant and imformative. I was a bit prepared for the topic having read his book but Steve hadn't read it yet and either way we both got a lot out of it. He talked quite a bit about extreme cases but pretty much all these children will have some kind of attatchment issues. It may be quite an adventure!

People have asked me how I expect to deal with the fact that Hannah, Annette and Ivy may have jealousy problems when these new children require so much attention. Not to pretend that won't be an issue, but I suspect that the bigger problems for them will come when the new child breaks a beloved toy or acts out in an agressive way. I cannot preserve their "bubble" once the kids are here and can only do so much to prepare them. I know they are so excited about the new brothers or sisters but am afraid of their hearts being broken by not being loved back. I think I can handle that situation for me but it's such a big thing to ask of these innocent,
wide-eyed little girls we already have. We will need your prayer.

My mom kept the girls while we were at the conference. I am so thankful that my parents are here in Tennessee now. The girls love to go there and when I called them this afternoon, they were having a ball painting pictures. I don't think they even remembered to miss me! I am sure that having family nearby will prove to be an invaluable asset to us in these coming years.

The hotel where we stayed last night turned out to hold a few surprises. Steve noticed the Eastern European name of the girl behind the desk and found out that she was from Russia. We amused her by "practicing" our "Russian" (if you can call it that!) on her. We had the hardest time just saying "Hello"! She said that I said it right but she just laughed at Steve. Thing is, I can only retain the correct pronunciation for about 6 seconds! I hope that becoming more familiar with the sound of the language will help us remember pronunciations better!

This morning when we were checking out, the girl behind the desk had an obvious accent. Steve asked her if she was from Russia and she replied that she was from Romania. Steve told her that he had just been in Moldova and was a stone's throw from the Romanian border. Her eyes lit up and she said "Actually, I am from Moldova but I just say Romania because no one knows Moldova." Turns out she was from Cahul, the city where Steve had been based while he was on his shoe mission! She had started out a bit short with us but by the time we left she was all smiles and as we left, Steve turned back to her and said "Thank you" in Romanian. What a small world sometimes!

Melissa

Many people have asked what is it that you mean by the "refer a dentist?"

We have undertaken this adoption process on faith. When we initially started the first year direct and indirect costs were budgeted at nearly $80,000. This is much more than we make in a year! Through God's provision and careful choices we have been able to trim this direct and indirect costs to about $55,000. Through aggressive saving and generous gifts we are now within $10,000 of what is needed to complete the adoption of these children. We have a limited amount of dental insurance that depending on circumstances involving our children's dental needs could be exhausted very quickly.

Between the adoption expenses, costs associated with adding three children to our family, and the likely loss of two months income this is a major endeavor. Anyways, children who come out of the orphanage system have terrible mouths. Both foul language and foul teeth!

Melissa and I will work on the foul language part. Although I have a drill and wrenches we unfortunately cannot work on the foul teeth part.We often hear of dentists taking mission trips overseas to care for the teeth of disadvantaged children. We are seeking a dentist who wants to take a mission trip for Ukrainian orphans without leaving his office.

If you are a dentist or know a dentist who would want to partner with us to repair these children's teeth if needed. Please call us at 865-986-3482.

New site address clarification

Okay, it seems there is some confusion. Our new site has been up and running for a while now but although the actual address is the same, it is not the same as the one you see in your address bar right now. www.lovedalready.com had previously been forwarded to this blogspot.com page but is not any longer. Therefore, if you want to see the new site, go to just plain www.lovedalready.com with no ".blogspot" in it.
Melissa

New website

Leep a look-out for our new website coming soon! Same address, nothing changing except the look and functionality. We will have information about Ukraine as well as some family pictures (Yay!) and, of course, we will continue to update the news of our progress in the adoption.

The Family vehicle

Not eco-friendly by any means! Why can't they make a family car that is easy on the gas mileage? Maybe one that runs on the vegetables that the kids won't eat?

New car!

Settle in, I apologize ahead of time--this is long!

Wow! Yesterday turned out to be a pretty crazy birthday! We left the house in the morning and went to Loudon. There we got our criminal backround checks completed and got the birth certificates for Ivy and Annette which we had not noticed had never been ordered until now when we are needing them. We went to McDonald's for a birthday lunch and the girls even spent a few minutes on the playground (even though it was 29 degrees out)!

On the way to McD's we saw an 8-passenger Suburban for sale at a local lot here but were too starving to stop. After lunch we went back and figured we'd take a look. We were looking to buy used but it was a '95 and we weren't expecting much. We looked it over and were impressed, it was in good shape outside and in! We didn't have a lot of time since we had and appointment to meet with our pastor at 3:15 and it was already going on 2:00 but we thought we could squeeze in a test drive. I packed the kids and car seats in and we took off. Steve headed right for the interstate and the dial was at the 'E'. I thought (aloud) that maybe we should go and get a few dollars in gas just to be sure. Well, you can guess the rest, the car was great, handled well, everything seemed to be working and then about a mile from the exit we ran completely out of gas! We were driving a HUGE vehicle up a slight incline and couldn't pull off and ride the shoulder because there was a big truck parked there so we silently coasted on by him with our blinkers on, the kids in the back oblivious and us up front, laughing at our predicament and watching the road. The slight incline turned into a blessing when we crept over the its crest and were able to gather a little speed assuring us of at least making it to the exit! We didn't dare come to a complete stop at the end of the exit despite the fact that there was no real break in the traffic so we coasted around the corner on the shoulder and into a gas station that was in the perfect spot and with open pumps! Once we stopped, we couldn't stop chuckling to ourselves! It was so funny!

We took the car back and talked a bit to the sales people, telling them why we were "upgrading" sharing a laugh over the empty tank and also explaning that we had no time to talk right then but would call them if we were interested.

The appointment with Dr. sager went well. Steve told him our plans to adopt and also talked about his plans for the future, how he would like to see our church get involved with helping and even encouraging couples to pursue adoptions. Brother Doug (that's how they refer to their pastors down here) told us of another man in our church with a similar passion and gave us a number to contact him. I am interested to see what comes of speaking with him.

After our meeting, we decided we would call the car dealer and offer him a very low price, expecting a counter-offer. They were asking $5,995 and we offered $5,000 including everything. Of course the guy said he was sure that wouldn't work but he would ask whoever it is that they ask. We were shopping in Big Lots (getting my Birthday Bunkbeds!) when the salesman called back and said, the owner thinks it is great what you are doing and he wants you to have it at that price. Can you come back tonight and sign the papers? We were shocked. I wouldn't have thought that they would have payed much attention to why we were wanting it as we had only mentioned it in passing. We had the cash but not in the right account so we offered to pay with credit but they said they couldn't do that because they wouldn't be making any profit on this one and couldn't afford the 3% fee that would cost. So we are going back tonight with a check from the credit card company which will allow us to keep our funds free (since that would about wipe us out for now and in our slow season) for all these little and not-so-little processing fees we have with all this adoption paperwork. It also gives them their money now instead of after our money transfer registered which would have added a couple of days.

So it appears that God has had His hand on us again and now that we have the bunkbeds and a big-enough vehicle, all we really still need is a longer kitchen table (and money, of course)! I suppose there might be other things but those are what I can think of now. Things like clothes will have to wait till we meet the kids.

Steve had a class to teach last night so I dropped him and the girls off at church and went off to sign the papers on the car. I finished up just in time to go back and pick them all up and head to Little Ceasar's for a pizza and to Food City for a little $3.99 cake that was just big enough for us to not have leftovers for me to induge on for the next 9 days!

We went home and had a very informal little party where the girls gave me their gifts: a bracelet from annette with the $1.99 tag still prominently attatched and a picture frame from Hannah who bragged that it only cost a dollar though it said $2.00 and also a can of floral, I mean FLORAL air freshener from her too. They were both so proud and I love to watch their excited faces as they wait for my response!

We all crawled happily into bed not much worse for the wear although it was 10:00 and poor Ivy had spent the afternoon being bought off by suckers since she had missed her nap entirely!
So, it was a crazy day but fun and it was great to get so much accomplished toward our adoption which is the best gift of all.

Melissa

Writer's Cramp

Well, we are still plugging away at all this paperwork. Steve says that if all this paperwork were required before having biological children, the birth rate would be about 2!

We had to write our biographies this week for the homestudy. Doing that was reminiscent of writing long essays in high school. It's been a while! In the end, it was kind of fun to read what eachother wrote about ourselves. (I think something isn't right witht the grammar there...oh well) At least it was for me. I don't know about Steve.

The homestudy paperwork is almost done. I have to track down a copy of my birth cirtificate from NY State so we can hurry things along. My copy is off with my passport application-- who knows where and for how long!

My Birthday is Wednesday. I aked for bunk beds. I think it will be funny to tell people that Steve got me bunk beds for my birthday! I know, I am a bit wierd. And for any of you who don't get it, the bunk beds are for the kids--I'll keep my king size!

Melissa

This week

We will be signing our contract for our homestudy.
Hannah, Annette and Ivy will be seeing the pediatrician for physicals required for homestudy.
We will be signing checks to Ukrainian Angels and Adoption Consultants.
We will be changing health insurance companies for adoption reasons.
We will begin filling out the homestudy questionaire and writing our biogragphies.

The process is truly starting and the papers are starting to stack and cash is starting to flow (out).

Steve

Not Bethany after all....

After such a good experience with Bethany Christian services we have, in the end, decided to go with another agency for our homestudy. The reason ends up being heavily influenced by cost. Bethany requires 4 post-placement visits not required by Ukraine. They tell us that this is to protect their good name and I can see their point but I would rather not have to pay them so they can ensure their reputation! At any rate, we are just as pleased with another agency that is down the road in the other direction from our house. It was recomended by our consutlant.

We signed some papers for a notary today and my dad came and took a video for us.
In a way, it is like a pregnancy, where you want pictures of the different stages along the way. So we are trying to get a few representative pictures and videos to show the kids and to put into their "baby" books later on.

Things are really starting to move along now...

Melissa

Bethany

Not you, Bethany my sister, but Bethany Christian Services. We met with a woman named Carrie yesterday at a local agency here in town. This meeting was in regard to our homestudy which is a requirement for being approved to adopt anywhere. This is the one thing on our very extensive list that actually seems like a really good requirement. So much of the paper work (the sum total of which is called our Dossier) seems like unnecessary hurdles to jump through. The homestudy is where a social worker gives a report about us based on interviews with our family both corporately and individually (even the girls). This report will say that we are healthy, sane (hopefully!) and financially able to take on these new children.

I admit, I was a little nervous about this part of the process. After all, many agencies as well as individual social workers pride themselves in thier "liberal" viewpoints which are ususally a world away from our conservative beliefs! Some agencies have gone so far as to ban couples who believe in corporal punishment and even to prohibit adopting children whose ages would be less that one year away from a child living currently in the home. (As if the situation for this child in an orphanage would be preferable to being close in age to a new sibling) I admit, I just don't see eye to eye with these types of ideals. Thing is, I was afraid that this was the type of person who would be "inspecting" us and determining our fitness to adopt.

Then we met Carrie. She was very friendly, well-informed and put me right at ease. I could see that she would not look down her nose at us but would be patient to answer our myriad of questions. And ask we did! We were very comfortable with her knowledge and ability to explain the system to us as well as to anticipate what things we would find helpful--answering questions before we asked them. I am sure we asked some questions which sounded dumb (and maybe were!) but you never would have guessed it from her responses. I think I am very comfortable using this agency for our homestudy.

Phew! what a relief! Now for the footwork....

Melissa

Ps. Please pray for us because we need to have a country and an agency(or not) decided on in order to have the homestudy completed. If we go with an agency to Ukraine, we would still be independant once in the country anyway. Being independent would mean that we assemble everything ourselves and get our own contacts in country. It would not mean going it entirely alone, however, because there is a lady in Florida that assists with independent adoptions to Ukraine. The independent option may mean more work for us but could save us as much as ten thousand dollars!

Ukrainian Church

Today we went to a Ukrainian church here in Knoxville. I recognized three words in 2.5 hours; "spaciba"- thank you and "koishka"- cat, and "hallejulah". I was able to recognize the Lord's prayer by its cadence. When they pray they all pray out loud at the same time very loud. It was a neat experience but I think I may want to know a few more words next time I go back.

I particulary liked looking at the facial characteristics of the children just to get a better idea of what our children will probably look like.

Steve

Appointment with Bethany Christian Services

Well we have an appointment with Bethany Christian Services and hope to sign a contract with them for our homestudy some time next week if all works out well. We hope to go to the local Ukraine Baptist Church on Sunday.

Thanks,

Steve

Goals

To our children,

It feels good to have made some real progress this week. We have completed the finishing touches on the 4th bedroom in the basement. We got Mom's passport application processed. We have left several voice mails at the agency we expect to do your homestudy. (the international coordinator has been out and in and back out sick)

Next week we will finish up the school area in the basement and the storage area. We will hopefully sign the contract for your homestudy and complete our 2006 income tax returns. I also hope to get the basement measured for carpet. I have been reminded of Jesus' words this week in John 14 about preparing a place for His children. I promise that we are preparing a place for you and we will surely come to receive you.

We still think you are in Ukraine but are still looking at the possibility you are in Moldova, Latvia, Estonia or maybe even Poland. We pray that we will at least know what country you are in soon.

Love,

Dad